i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
