so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
