70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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