who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
