May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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