she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
