i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
