Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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