You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
