Fine. I'll sleep in my office
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
