So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize