I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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