Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
