her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
