I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
this hospital has no fireball
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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