lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
