You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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