I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm really busy with my period
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