Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
