I like to think it a success when the cops are called
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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