Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize