you would pick up someone in the library
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
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