Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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