1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
