why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
