Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I FOUND THE LEGS
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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