it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
