how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
