How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
