the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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