Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize