Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
