Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
