yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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