The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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