Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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