fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
