when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
