Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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