susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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