hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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