yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
