I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
