I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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