Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
