you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she told me i tasted like america
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
