Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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