I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
