So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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