i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
