Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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