random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
