They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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