I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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