yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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