Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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