now i know why i became what i already was.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
