I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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