I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
