so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
