you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
