so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
