Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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