hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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