Got a toothbrush?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
