she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I love you.
Bad choice
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
